Lately, I've been getting pitches from so-called and dating experts to write about them. While their bios are always interesting, I have to wonder how they are in the romance department. What qualifies someone as a dating expert anyway? Someone who goes on a lot of dates? If that's the main criteria, then I already have insider access to one of the greatest dating experts out there. And she happens to be my best: P.
No, I don't need a next one Mama loves you too She thinks I made the right selection Now all that's left to do Is just for me to pop the question Oh, I think that I've found myself a cheerleader She is always right there when I need her Oh, I think that I've found myself a cheerleader She is always right there when I need her. It was different when Lily was there and we used her board. That board always seemed more likely to produce results than the other ones, and we all felt more hushed around it, more serious.
P isn't a supermodel, but she is a beautiful girl—the type of person that turns heads when she walks down the street. She is a smooth cocktail composed of, appeal, looks and sweetness. And she gets more guys than anyone I know.
While taking the train home from work one day, I chat with her about the art of flirting. We've both read countless articles about the basic Dos and Don'ts of the courtship game—as you probably have too. The, which are pretty standard and obvious, sound something like this:. Lock eyes for several seconds, then, look away. Smile and act happy.
Mimic the other person's. Show off your neck (for the ladies). Wear red lipstick (for the ladies). Having been in a relationship for the last year and a half, I feel a little rusty in my flirting aptitude. Still, I have always recalled these rules of dutifully. But P, the resident expert and boy magnet, tells me she has improved on the old dogma.
Attracting someone should be a little more subtle, she says. In other words, don't make it seem like you're flirting. And this is when our simple conversation turns into a life lesson. 'Jen,' she says, ' You have to make the guy think he's making the first move when you're the one really doing it.' Give me an example, I ask her.
She provides two. ( Of course she does.) 'I was on a plane and I spotted a cute guy, who happened to be sitting right behind me. There was an old lady who needed help putting her luggage away in the overhead compartment. So I volunteered to help but obviously, it was too heavy. So guess who gets up and offers to help me?' That chivalrous act turned into a scintillating five-hour conversation from Los Angeles to New York—which eventually led to several dates in the Big Apple. Funny enough, her second example took place on the return flight back to Los Angeles.
'But, it makes the other person feel like you're really listening and being attentive. It's a very intimate thing.' I'm skeptical, but I suspect she is right. When I think of the times people have really looked into my eyes, I have felt a certain closeness with them. I feel nervous.
Wow—she is right. Our phone lesson comes to an abrupt halt as my train goes into a tunnel. P's voice goes to a place where my 3G cannot follow. I go home that night thinking about flirting and wonder if I was or am any good at it.
I ask my boyfriend shyly, 'Am I a good flirt?' Smiling, he gazes deeply into my eyes and says, 'Not especially.' Well, at least one of us is. Follow me on Twitter: Want to know when I write a new post? As A beautiful guy, we don't need to flirt either.
In fact, I kinda get a kick out of watching a girl flirt and try to get me to approach. Then, out of a kind of hatred for women, and some kind of sick amusement coupled with a desire to feel powerful, I do NOT approach them. What do I want from them anyway? I have dated with famous models and singers and tv personalities. I have even BEEN the tv personality. And after sampling some of the most beautiful women in the world, I can tell you that another 'notch on the bedpost' means absolutely nothing.
Girls ask me out every night. Try to friend zone me because they are scared of falling in love and getting hurt. All kinds of mind bending garbage. And I tell you, the hotter they are, the worse they play these games.
Evry girl wants the hot guy to chase them right? Its a self esteem boost! Sometimes i wish I was ugly. Girl fear me. They believe guys like me are all playboy's etc. And here is me with absolutely no interest in any of that anymore really.
I used to bust into clubs with 20 girls. Things that people like Decaprio did. So you can imagine how empty it is after a while. Right now I am laying next to a beautiful tiny girl.
Wild blue lamborghini coloured hair and a fit little body. Real sporty shape. I can't even be bothered putting down my phone and giving her one. So, when I get 'signals' from beautiful girls, well. Like a while ago, I was on my sportbike and stopped at a crosswalk to let a beautiful girl walk on it.
I just kinda looked at her. She was surprised that I stopped because I has a bit of speed on. My helmet doesn't cover my face and I looked at her and just kinda nodded meaning 'you can walk.' Not even a smile. She comes over to me and gives me her handbag.
Then gets on the back of my full faring sport bike in her cocktail dress and signals me to go. For a moment I thought she was a hooker! But we dated a while. I introduced her to 2 of the girls I was dating at the time and all 4 of us went out partying every other night for 2 months! The sleep overs. Group Movie dates etc.
You can see how boring it is when a gitl just smiles at you then expects you to swish your hair, straighten your collar and try to talk to her. What a turn off!!
How self centered is that? And thats why I am so amused when I get them excirmted and do nothing. The girl in the post is terrible. She is just a game playing waste of time and will only attract sex hungry losers.
If a girl wants a real man, she will walk right up to him, shake his hand and say 'Hello, I think you look amazing. I wish I had the chance to meet more guts like you. My name is Sarah.
Can I buy you lunch??? Fact is, its men being so worthless and sex hungry that reduces tge value for our gender. I mean, if ALL men banded together an abstained from flirting or approaching, women would have no choice! To be honest, the female mind is a huge turn off.
Inability to communicate directly and logically. 'chase me chase me' games. Constantly trying to figure us out or what we REALLY mean when we just told then exactly what we mean. Wanting the strong man them complaining he is not gentle. Not wanting a guy because he is really nice.
And just wanting aholes like me. Looking fir a man they can 'change' instead of getting one who is already that way. I ain't changing for a vagina. Telling them I am poly then watching them tell you they are cool with it then months or YEARS later They are not. Its all just not even worth it. And for what? A relationship that has a used by date?
Or one that doesn't and you lose many years living an average couple lifestyle where the daily routine takes centre stage and you prolly gonna get later find out that it has a used by date after all and shes banging a guy from work? There is no 'win' with women. Perhaps one in 10,000 new connections. But who has the time? And thet are objects anyway.
Not sex onjects. But they are all roughly the same. In the sense that they are all female and females are: Emotional creatures Baby baring Fashion focused Gossiping Blah blah blah. I dated maybe 270 in the last few years and these things I tell you are conclusions born of a great deal of experience.
I used to sleep with 4 per day and meet 6. 30 in 5 days and sleep with 17. I can tell you guys, I know my stuff. And yes I have fallen hopelessly in along the way. And its all the same. They are all hurt by men in the past lying to them and they are scared to give themselves blah blah blah. And when they do, they will test you.
With an itchy trigger finger. And to moment there is a misunderstanding BAM! FEAR KICKS IN. Handsome guys are all liars right?
Its confirmed. Females are a waste of time really. Cook for me you little blue haired angel. Get me a sandwich and i might as well just do whatever I please with whomever I please until your expiry date arrives, then let you go and replace you the same day. You created this monster. It doesn't bother me if girls are strategic when they try to flirt with me.
Heck, I'm pretty sure most girls get strategic when they find a guy they like; some are just better at being strategic than others. I suspect those complaining are girls who are upset because they don't like the idea of getting outcompeted. Kind of like guys tend to be the ones most upset about PUA.
So, advice from a guy: It's definitely a good idea to give us some kind of 'in' to starting a conversation with you. You've got to respect the fact that society expects us to make the first move and make it easy for us. Regarding showing too much interest: I'd like to think that I'd be more attracted, if anything, to a girl that showed interest, but I'll accept that I'm probably not perfect at describing my own behavior. My sincere apologies to girls that get short-changed as a result of showing too much interest. It's seriously lame that that happens. So, advice from a guy: It's definitely a good idea to give us some kind of 'in' to starting a conversation with you. You've got to respect the fact that society expects us to make the first move and make it easy for us.
It seems to me the idea is not so much about making it easy to us but to them. This method can work but there is no garantee of it and not much rate of success it seems. There is one way more efective for beautiful women: be blunt and make the aproach.
But women very, very rare do this, they can't take rejection if it happens so they adopt this strategies. Because this method of making themselves strategicelly avaliable is safer for their ego. Anonymous wrote: The law of attraction and magnetism are that the male energy flows towards and into the female. The male wants to love, and the female wants to BE loved. But in the flirting stage, the male is TERRIFIED of the potential public resection. What P has so intelligently figured out are subtly ways to reduce or eliminate the risk for the male, allowing him to pursue and her to receive the his attention.
Thank you for letting us into your little made up bubble world. There is no such thing as the 'Law of Attraction' and flowing energy. The only thing the LOA attracts is suckers and unicorn believers.
Just throwing it out there, but I don't think advice on how to attract men is all that useful coming from someone the author notes is really good looking. What works for her isn't going to work for someone more average looking. I'm not ugly, but I do have to put more effort into attracting men than a woman who's a total knockout. It doesn't bother me, in fact, it's nice knowing that when a guy DOES find himself attracted to me it's almost always about much more than my appearance. The scenarios the author's friend described from the plane are great - but those strategies would simply not work if the guys hadn't already noticed her and determined she was attractive. For most of us regular lady folk, we're gonna need to do a little more than put ourselves in a guys visual field and wait for him to hit on us. Basically, what I'm saying is, for women who are less than a 9, this article is completely useless.
First and foremost make yourself pleasing physically for we know attraction falls on what they see first. We have our own ways of flirting and we are all flirts in our own ways. Before we go on flirting it would be better to know even a little about the one we want to flirt to, in that way it would be much easier to make the move in a manner that we are flirting the way they wanted to be flirt. Then it is not obvious that you are flirting already for they feel to be attracted and not being flirted. As A beautiful guy, we don't need to flirt either. In fact, I kinda get a kick out of watching a girl flirt and try to get me to approach. Then, out of a kind of hatred for women, and some kind of sick amusement coupled with a desire to feel powerful, I do NOT approach them.
What do I want from them anyway? I have dated with famous models and singers and tv personalities.
I have even BEEN the tv personality. And after sampling some of the most beautiful women in the world, I can tell you that another 'notch on the bedpost' means absolutely nothing. Girls ask me out every night. Try to friend zone me because they are scared of falling in love and getting hurt. All kinds of mind bending garbage. And I tell you, the hotter they are, the worse they play these games.
Evry girl wants the hot guy to chase them right? Its a self esteem boost!
Sometimes i wish I was ugly. Girl fear me. They believe guys like me are all playboy's etc. And here is me with absolutely no interest in any of that anymore really. I used to bust into clubs with 20 girls. Things that people like Decaprio did.
So you can imagine how empty it is after a while. Right now I am laying next to a beautiful tiny girl.
Wild blue lamborghini coloured hair and a fit little body. Real sporty shape. I can't even be bothered putting down my phone and giving her one. So, when I get 'signals' from beautiful girls, well. Like a while ago, I was on my sportbike and stopped at a crosswalk to let a beautiful girl walk on it. I just kinda looked at her. She was surprised that I stopped because I has a bit of speed on.
My helmet doesn't cover my face and I looked at her and just kinda nodded meaning 'you can walk.' Not even a smile. She comes over to me and gives me her handbag. Then gets on the back of my full faring sport bike in her cocktail dress and signals me to go. For a moment I thought she was a hooker! But we dated a while. I introduced her to 2 of the girls I was dating at the time and all 4 of us went out partying every other night for 2 months!
The sleep overs. Group Movie dates etc. You can see how boring it is when a gitl just smiles at you then expects you to swish your hair, straighten your collar and try to talk to her. What a turn off!! How self centered is that? And thats why I am so amused when I get them excirmted and do nothing.
The girl in the post is terrible. She is just a game playing waste of time and will only attract sex hungry losers. If a girl wants a real man, she will walk right up to him, shake his hand and say 'Hello, I think you look amazing. I wish I had the chance to meet more guts like you. My name is Sarah.
Can I buy you lunch??? Fact is, its men being so worthless and sex hungry that reduces tge value for our gender. I mean, if ALL men banded together an abstained from flirting or approaching, women would have no choice! To be honest, the female mind is a huge turn off.
Inability to communicate directly and logically. 'chase me chase me' games. Constantly trying to figure us out or what we REALLY mean when we just told then exactly what we mean. Wanting the strong man them complaining he is not gentle. Not wanting a guy because he is really nice. And just wanting aholes like me. Looking fir a man they can 'change' instead of getting one who is already that way.
I ain't changing for a vagina. Telling them I am poly then watching them tell you they are cool with it then months or YEARS later They are not. Its all just not even worth it.
And for what? A relationship that has a used by date? Or one that doesn't and you lose many years living an average couple lifestyle where the daily routine takes centre stage and you prolly gonna get later find out that it has a used by date after all and shes banging a guy from work?
There is no 'win' with women. Perhaps one in 10,000 new connections.
But who has the time? And thet are objects anyway. Not sex onjects. But they are all roughly the same. In the sense that they are all female and females are: Emotional creatures Baby baring Fashion focused Gossiping Blah blah blah. I dated maybe 270 in the last few years and these things I tell you are conclusions born of a great deal of experience.
I used to sleep with 4 per day and meet 6. 30 in 5 days and sleep with 17. I can tell you guys, I know my stuff.
And yes I have fallen hopelessly in along the way. And its all the same. They are all hurt by men in the past lying to them and they are scared to give themselves blah blah blah. And when they do, they will test you.
With an itchy trigger finger. And to moment there is a misunderstanding BAM! FEAR KICKS IN.
Handsome guys are all liars right? Its confirmed. Females are a waste of time really.
Cook for me you little blue haired angel. Get me a sandwich and i might as well just do whatever I please with whomever I please until your expiry date arrives, then let you go and replace you the same day. You created this monster. Wow man, thats one hell of a story.
I'm not sure if you're lying however because some details sound ridiculous (sleeping with 4 per day and meeting 6?). But I've always known that there are a small percentage of men like this that are getting all the women. Its funny because I sometimes aspire to that. I've gotten better through the years and moved up the heirarchy (multiple dates per week, sleep with a few per week). But now I'm starting to wonder if I should change my approach, simply because I do not want to end up like guys such as yourself. It seems like when you go too far down this road, there is no going back.
You will never find a person that you will commit to for the rest of your life. You will never be satisfied because you've had it all. You will always attract the wrong women because of your utilization of tactics. Ultimately, I'm looking to start a family so it may be wise to change my approach here. People who are calling P 'evil' and 'manipulative' are crazy. All she is doing is providing the guy their 'in'. We all know how hard it is break the ice, well she is masterfully giving the guy who has caught her eye the perfect icebreaker.
It is totally up to him to use it, and follow through by asking her out afterwards- if he wants to. Clearly, she must hold his interest after they approach. Where is the manipulation? She is working harder than most ladies by at least dropping what would be by modern standards, a scented hankie a hundred year ago.